


The Honey Drink

by AHorsesShadow



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: But I have concerns, Many many concerns, Mention of alcohol, Otherwise PG, i don't know where this came from
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 17:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14623374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHorsesShadow/pseuds/AHorsesShadow
Summary: The gifting system in this game is a touch confusing, what with all the universal gifts and their exceptions. I am particularly concerned about a poorly-thought-out exception to the "Artisan Goods" category.ORThe cutscene with the kids at the sewer gate goes very differently.





	The Honey Drink

**Author's Note:**

> I am just so so sorry that this even exists.

“Come on, Vincent, it’ll be fun! Like always!” Jas exclaimed as she took her young friend’s hand and dragged him toward their usual hangout spot. 

“But..Mom gets mad when I’m all dirty,” Vincent pouted in response.

“It’s raining, we can clean you off before she notices!”

Vincent smiled wide at this realization. “Oh! That’s smart. Okay, let’s go! I love this spot.” And with that, the young duo ran off to the island just south of their friend Leah’s cottage. The two loved playing around by the gate to the sewer- it was secluded, nobody would bother them- the secret spot that only the two of them knew about. They also had a friend.

When they arrived at the sewer gate, their friend was there- like promised. The first time they met him, it almost went terribly wrong.

_“Ahhhhhh!” Jas screamed, “What are you?”_

_The shadowy figure looked upon the young human children and sighed. Of course they hadn’t learned of his race. No human ever does. These young specimens, he thought, would not take to the idea well. So, he lied. “I’m just another human, like you,” he said from within the sewers. “I got hurt, and now I wear this to hide the evidence.”_

_Vincent clung to Jas, still terrified. Jas, on the other hand, grew worried. “Are you still hurt? Should I go get Doctor Harvey?”_

_“No, no, that isn’t necessary. I already saw a doctor for this. I’m okay now,” he lied through his teeth. “Actually, I have a drink that your kind-” he stopped himself, recalibrating his sentence, trying not to give away his secret, “...the people of the valley tend to like. Would you like to try some?”_

“Thank you, Mr. Sewer Man!,” Vincent happily exclaimed. Their friend had once again pulled through and brought them the drink that smells like honey. He made them promise not to tell anyone of him; and, by proxy, the drinks they got from him. It was a harmless gift, he assured them- lots of people liked the honey drink.

Every Saturday since they first met him, the duo had come out to their favorite play spot and got some of the honey drink from their friend, happily playing around, always excited to get more of their new favorite treat. They came to think of this spot as their friendship spot; whenever they were here they would always tell each other whatever was on their minds. If something was worrying them, the other would soon know. _“It’s the magic of the spot, it’s got to be!”, Vincent said confidently._

They were in the middle of one of their heart-to-heart discussions when the new farmer found them. “Oh hey, Vincent, Jas. I didn’t know you two came out here.”

Jas nodded her head. “This is our special play spot.” She moved to hide the honey drink, but not before the farmer noticed.

“What is it you have there?”

Jas looked like a deer in headlights. Vincent, on the other hand, was excited to finally tell someone! “Whenever we come play here we find this honey drink sitting here. It’s really tasty!” He half-lied, trying to keep their friend’s existence a secret.

The farmer cocked her head. “Honey drink? Can I smell it?” she asked, hiding her growing concerns from the innocent duo. Vincent happily brought it over to her, and the young farmer took a whiff, her greatest fear coming true: the kids’ “honey drink” is mead. She walked over to the kids and crouched down beside them. “Vincent, Jas, this is a drink that only adults can drink. It’s call-”

At that moment, their friend started making noises- scary noises. Seeing a way out of the lecture, Jas screamed at the sound. “Miss farmer! There’s something moving around in there!” She took Vincent’s hand once more and ran behind the farmer, giving Vincent a wink when they were safely out of the farmer’s view. He understood and kept up the appearance of being scared.

The farmer took a glance inside the sewer, not seeing anything, but having heard what the kids had. “Okay, let’s get you two back home before anything scary happens. Promise me you won’t have any more of the honey drink, though?”

The kids answered in unison: “We promise!”

=============================================

_Finally,_ She thought, _The key Gunther gave me opens the sewers._ The young farmer took a step inside and poked her head around, finding a shadow brute at the end. As she moved to draw her sword, the shadow brute threw his stubby hands up in the air.

“I mean no harm, Human. I am peaceful, but a humble merchant. I do not see many of your kind.”

She withdrew her hand from her sword, warily, but continued toward him. “What is your name?”

“I am called Krobus. I am pleased to make your acquaintance. I would like to make a peace offering…” The newly-named Krobus turned around and acquired a bottle and glass, and turned to face the newcomer. “I am told that many of your kind like this drink. Some of my friends have described it as honey-like.”

**Author's Note:**

> KROBUS, YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO! No but really, Krobus didn't realize he was doing something "bad" by giving the kids mead- he didn't realize it's alcohol, and kids shouldn't have alcohol!
> 
> So yeah. I was recently diving into the depths of the gifting system in this game for a certain goal of mine, and I saw a very troubling thing: the kids hate all Artisan Goods- except Mead and Oil. Okay, oil is a universal dislike- maybe the kids dislike mead, too?
> 
> Tonight I remembered you can check the wiki's individual item pages for gifting information. Mead is "liked" by everybody except Pam and Willy- who love it, and Penny, who hates it.  
> ....  
> ....THE CHILDREN LIKE MEAD.
> 
> And thus this ficlet was born. I apologize to your eyes for having read this.
> 
>  
> 
> Also- don't worry, I haven't forgotten about or given up on It Was Fun- just hit a bit of a writer's block! I know where the next chapter's going to go, but haven't had any inspiration to write at all.
> 
> Anyway, let me know your thoughts! See you soon <3


End file.
